Animal

Ladies, ladies I’ve gone all hip-hop and funky. I bought myself a hat today. A rather fetching number in pale sage (the same colour I want to paint the summerhouse) with two flowery buttons either side of a peak with a flower pattern underneath. It is rather racy but perfect to wear when I have the top down on my little car to keep the sun out of my eyes.

I bought my hat in a surfy shop how daring am I? The thing is I had my mother with me and she insisted on buying the same hat but in chocolate brown. She stuck it on her head at a jaunty angle and demanded to be taken to Asda for some ‘Trill’. I only left her for a few minutes to get her some custard tarts, when I got back she was sat astride the handles of her walker being pushed by a nervous young supermarket worker shouting “faster faster!” It took me a few minutes to catch up and relieve him of this geriatric Boudicea. She sulked all the way home.

Yours funkily

Celia

June 8, 2013 1

Cockchafer

During my morning perambulation I spotted this fleeting visitor to the garden and just knew I had to share it with you all. I rushed indoors and donned my Lady-Explorers outfit of brown knee-high lace-up boots, long green linen skirt, ecru safari jacket with useful pockets full of useful things, such as, anti-snakebite, string, tweezers, a needle and thread, hard-boiled egg, sketch pad, full boxed set of charcoal pencils, small Huntley & Palmers biscuit tin in the shape of a elephant, hip flask and small metal tumblers,binoculars and collecting bag not forgetting my hat with the mosquito netting. I was ready. Now never let it be said I am not up with technology I grabbed my I-Pad and with never a thought for my safety ventured out to take this photograph.

Ronald I am sorry to say was nowhere to be seen. The minute I told him I had identified the beetle as a ‘Cockchafer’ he thrust his hands down the front of his trousers and ran. Silly Ronald.

Yours Exploringly

Celia

June 7, 2013 1

RONALD GETS IT UP

Ronald has been at it all morning and wouldn’t give in until he got it up; bless him. He said it was a matter of pride. I told him, “don’t worry, I don’t mind waiting” but no he had to keep going. It really is starting to take shape but that Mr Cambria next door deflated him with three words. Poor Ronald.

Mr Cambria is from Cumbria and most of the time we can’t understand a word he says, I said to Ronald “he probably didn’t say what you thought he said dear. He probably said “you were mucking about” and I really didn’t think it was necessary to get your hose out”, After all we’ve had a week of sunshine they are bound to say there’s a water shortage and we’re heading for a drought’

I tried to calm Ronald down with a nice cup of camomile tea and a gypsy cream but by the time I had put the kettle on (I wasn’t wearing it, just on the hob) he’d poured himself four fingers of malt whisky and broken out the Duchy Lemon Thins and it was only 10.30 in the morning.

Veronica I’m not sure Ray Mears survival cookery book is the one for you; what about Bear Grills? From what they say grilling is healthier. I do wish you would curtail your foraging, why not get yourself an alottment?

Yours Ears-Burningingly

Celia

June 6, 2013 0

Today I enjoyed an afternoon at our Ladies Craft Club. With knitting, crocheting, button making and our delightful gentleman Rupert was felting away with gusto.

Dear Veronica and I are planning to host the occasional vintage tea party.

The beautiful doily you can see in the picture was a gift from the lovely Teresa. It is skilfully crocheted with adorable little glass beads. She has offered to make us more to cover our jugs.

They may cover Veronica’s jugs but my jugs are a little larger and I will definitely need more beads.

Yours dingly dangly

Celia

June 5, 2013 2

Misled

My dear ladies I cannot tell you how sorry I am. Yesterday it appears that I lead some of you astray. I wrote in all innocence.

My thoughts are with Eileen who had to go to A & E to have something surgically removed and to Angela whose husband was so shocked and alarmed that he stepped back on poor Lucky (I have offered to pay the vet”s bill and looking on the bright side, it does mean they can offer a home to another rescued cat) and any other of my dear ladies who have been affected.

I did not for a moment realise I had been misleading. I meant of course my lovely peach coloured summer sandal thongs. Not those cheese-cutters that pretend to be underwear.

I will endeavour in future to be translucent in my insightful homilies to you all.

Yours embarrassingly

Celia

June 4, 2013 1

Thongs!

What a beautiful day ladies it was so hot I broke out my thongs. Now I know some of you will disapprove and some of you will say that they are uncomfortable. Mine are a pretty peach colour and look lovely against a lightly tanned skin.

Ronald is quite a fan and although these days I need a slightly larger size than I once did, I think a lady of a certain age can still carry off the look.

Walking little Roley this afternoon was a joy with the sun shining, the birds singing and all the lovely wild flowers out. There might have been the odd twinge of discomfort but it was worth it.

Yours Sunnily

Celia

June 3, 2013 0

Liberace

Ladies I expect you are excited as I am and cannot wait to see the new Steven Soderbergh (unfortunate name I would have dropped the first syllable)film, ‘Behind The Candelabra’. Fantastic triumvirate of Liberace, Michael Douglas and Matt Damon.

Liberace I have read was a true gentleman and well known for his kindness and he loved his mother.

Don’t we just love a bit of camp ladies? The diamante, fur, feathers and witty repartee. Wouldn’t you just love to have Rupert Everett for dinner? Not to eat of course as a guest. Can you just imagine the wicked conversation and bitchy gossip?

Who can forget the hilarious ‘Jules & Sandy’ from ‘Round The Horn’.

I’m sure I’m not the only one who covets some of Dame Edna’s outfits. Come to think of it I think I have something similar in my wardrobe. Roll on the Queens garden party.

Yours in Feathers

Celia

June 2, 2013 1

Cover-Ups

Recovering with a stiff G & T after Roland and That Woman had left, I comtemplated the dilemma of the summer dress or top with a Linguine strap. Personally the minimum width strap I would consider is the Lasagne (talking of pasta I can recommend the Manicotti [man-a-cottee] (“Small Muffs”) one of Ronalds favourites. Stuffed with a mixture of meat, cheese and vegetables, topped with your favourite sauce and baked in the oven, or stuff and freeze for a lunch with your lady friends.

I digress back to the exposed tops of arms and shoulders. Why is it that even though in the UK the majority of ladies are size 16 and above and over 50; manufacturers still insist on making dresses with Angel hair straps and too short?

Now I am sure you will agree I am abreast of the latest trends and fashions but I retrocede to our Icons; Audrey, Vanessa and Dianna. They discovered the style that suited them and stuck to it with the odd nod to current trends. This is what we should all apprehend for ourselves.

One of the classic but wearable solutions is a wrap or shawl. I prefer to call it a wrap which sounds like a present exciting to unwrap; rather than a shawl which sounds as if it came out of a Catherine Cookson novel. Now ladies I know some of you have yet to pick up kneedles and wool but I urge you to give it a try. It is the most relaxing, satisfying occupation and it is like the Martini advertisement something you can do anytime, anyplace, anywhere.

One of the simplest items to knit as a beginner is a wrap or shawl, which can be knitted in any type of wool. Choose something soft and a colour that will go with your summer wardobe, don’t worry about thickness just pick something that takes your fancy. On the label you will find the size of needle to knit with but again do not worry to much if you have a slightly different size. A larger needle will create a lacy effect, a smaller needle a tighter weave.

Start by casting on two stiches, knit a row. Then knit every row but increase a stitch at the beginning and end of every row. When it is big enough, cast off. You will end up with a large triangular wrap.

Here is Ronald modelling one I made using different types of yarn