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GIANT KNITTING not knitting for giants. Giant WOOL and giant KNITTING NEEDLES. If you tap on the picture you will enlarge it (no Ronald I am not tapping on anything of yours to enlarge it!) you will see my blue toes at the bottom which will give you some idea of the scale.

This all comes from INGRID WAGNER RUG & ART CREATION. Do look at her website or FACEBOOK page and get inspired.

I have cast on and started the first knit row.You have to adjust to working with the longer length and bigger width. most of us are used to working with shorter lengths and thinner widths.

I am looking forward to seeing it grow and already thinking about further projects.

Yours Handsfuledly

Celia

RONALD’S BRIEF ENCOUNTER – (but without the trains)

English: Karrimor shoes (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

RONALD’S BRIEF ENCOUNTER occurred whilst taking hirsute Roley for a walk.

He met three LADY-HIKERS who had been round the block, Ronald likes ladies who go far. They stopped him to ask “Are you taking the dog for a walk?” Now excuse me if I sound snitchy but talk about stating the f………g obvious. I believe it was a bit of a RUSE to engage in flirtatiousness with a SILVER FOX.

According to Ronald they were very NICE ladies and one of them had a lovely pair of  HIKING BOOTS, he’d never seen such big ones. He was on the point of inviting them home for a cup of tea when he had second thoughts. SENSIBLE RONALD

Yours Miffedly

Celia

WONDROUS WIMBLEDON

WONDROUS WIMBLEDON, ladies what a wonderful treat all those tanned muscular legs. Those fit, strong, athletic, bodies. It certainly caused a Love-40 stir in my LADYGARDEN as I am sure it did in yours.

I went to the hospital to fetch Mother who had been discharged and managed to get her settled in her chair in time to catch up with the match. She nodded off but managed to wake up at intervals with bazaar comments exactly when an important point was scored. Now that’s a skill.

More on the GIANT WOOL AND NEEDLES tomorrow.

Well done ANDY MURRAY.

Yours Duecedly

Celia

WHERE IS CELIA?

Where have I been my lovely ladies and occasional gentleman BLISS followers? Well yesterday Teresa, Gwendoline, Lydia and I went to a lovely ladies CRAFT FAYRE. The Lovely Annabelle, as I think I mentioned previously was flaunting her wares and we went along to support her and look at the wonderful things on offer.

It was a gloriously sunny hot day and there were the most amazing things on offer. Gwendoline was the first to break out her pennies as she had been swooned by a DUCK. Teresa was next to make a purchase with two charming hand-enhanced prints. Then I spotted some GIANT WOODEN KNEEDLES WITH GIANT WOOL I cannot tell you how excited I was. Almost at the same moment Lydia spotted them too. We were off like a couple of exocet missiles, closely followed by the others. One very interesting conversation with the lovely LADY stall holder later LYDIA, TERESA AND I WERE £50 LIGHTER each but the owners of the means to KNIT ourselves some colourful rugs and Teresa is KNITTING seat pads for her new dining chairs.

I forgot to say it was so hot that we all four purchased sun-hats unfortunately the were the same apart from the pattern on the crown. There were quite a few smiles as we wandered around together. Even more when we sat on a bench in a row in the town eating pasties. Someone even wanted to take our photographs, what Larks.

On arriving home, Ronald met me with the news that my mother was not well. As soon as I arrived at her home I realised she was really poorly. After the Doctor had been we were whisked off in an AMBULANCE.

So my lovely ladies and Occasional gentleman that was why I was unable to write my BLISS yesterday.

Tomorrow I will show you a picture of my LOVELY GIANT KNITTING NEEDLES AND GIANT WOOL, also update you on my mother, who despite being ill still managed to flirt with the young PARAMEDIC in the ambulance.

Yours Stressedly

Celia

GROUP SESSIONS, GIGGLES AND NEW TECHNIQUES

Yesterday our group of lovely ladies and occasional gentleman met for our once a month afternoon session. What fun! Royston our lovely gentleman loves all the attention and always brings a little treat along. He always chats away and goes away tired but happy.

Gwendoline had decided to try something different and brought her machine along (she is a little devil). We managed the preparation and off she went, unfortunately there was a bit of a hiccough and she became stuck It was quite an effort to extricate her and we all had the giggles, of course the other ladies who were watching couldn’t stop laughing either. I had asked them if they wanted to have a go but they were all doing there own thing and quite happy. By the time I had controlled myself Gwendoline was on her knees giving it a go. She’s full of energy; when she leaves here she is off to play with her lob-wedge.

Lydia was learning a new technique from Teresa and then she left early for a date with ANDY MURRAY at WIMBLEDON.

Annabelle returned my tin from the garden party, she is busy getting ready to flaunt her wares on Friday and Saturday. Teresa, Lydia, Gwendoline and myself are going on a little awayday jolly to support her.

Everybody left with a smile on their face and a promise to do it all again next month.

Yours Grouplovedly

Celia

DEVON & CORNWALL POLICE COMMISSIONER OOPS!

DEVON and CORNWALL POLICE COMMISSIONER TONY HOGG has been given a TAXPAYER FUNDED allowance of £650 pounds a month because he has a two hour drive to POLICE HEADQUARTERS in EXETER from his home.

AH BLESS. MAYBE HE DIDN’T REMEMBER WHERE HE LIVED WHEN HE APPLIED FOR THE JOB!

Yours Ripped-offedly

Celia

STRANGE GOINGS ON IN THE LADYGARDEN RESIDENCE

Some of our neighbours may have witnessed strange goings on in the Ladygarden residence this morning. We had received our online bill from our ENERGY company and I realised that I had forgotten to submit our meter readings, so they had applied estimated readings.
Ronald fetched the key from his little shed and we trouped outside to the meter cupboard and duly wrote down the readings. I then submitted them online but of course the screen froze and I could not be sure if they had gone through or not.
I started and email message when a ‘LIVE CHAT with a LIVEPERSON’ ICON came up. ‘Would I like to speak to one?’ which is a bit of an OXYMORON but I thought why not, may be quicker (silly me).
To assist the LIVEPERSON, before I “spoke” to them,I had to enter my name, address, phone number, account number and email. Whiich I did. then:
LIVEPERSON : Hello, what is your question?

ME: I was submitting my readings but screen froze

LIVEPERSON: Can you give me your name, address, phone number account number and email address?

Me: ? (thought I had already done that) repeated details

LIVEPERSON: Give me the readings

Me: Rate 1: 4466 Rate 2: 4867

LIVEPERSON: Please wait while I check the numbers

ME: Are you still there?

LIVEPERSON: Please be patient I am checking

…….

…….

….

LIVEPERSON: These figures appear to be wrong. Please go and check them

ME: Will you wait?

LIVEPERSON: YES

Ronald dashed to shed for the key, we ran out to the cupboard, took down the same numbers as previously, dashed back to IPAD.
ME: Rate 1: 4466 Rate 2: 4867

LIVEPERSON: Please wait while I check

………

………

…….

LIVEPERSON: These figures seem to be very high

ME: Oh dear that’s scary

LIVEPERSON: Would you email a picture of the readings on the meter and email me

ME: !!!!!

Ronald dashed out to shed for key, we both ran out to meter cupbord with IPAD. Took photos of each reading and a nice picture of the meter in the cupboard just in case. Dashed back and emailed pictures

ME: Have emailed 3 pictures to you

……..

…….

…….

ME: Are you there?

Silence LIVEPERSON had gone. Did she receive the emails? is she revising my figures? does she like the nice picture of the meter? Who knows?

I picked up my knitting, Ronald poured me a glass of chilled Rose (for the stress) and I sat down to watch the TENNIS at Wimbledon

Yours 15 lovingly

Celia

BACK-ACHE, BOUNCE & MATTRESSES

We need a new MATTRESS, I thought it would be a reasonably easy purchase and had a quick look online. MATTRESSSSS HAVE GONE MAD!
CLASSIC COTTON, EGYPTIAN COTTON, ORTHO MIRACOIL (presumably stops you getting pregnant as well), VI SPRUNG, POCKET SPRING, CLASSIC OPEN (Golf?) SILVER, GOLD, PLATINUM (just like the Olympics), TEMPUR MEMORY, TEMPUR CLOUD, TEMPUR SENSATION (Ronald likes the idea of that one), ELEGANT CONTINENTAL Then, this is more like it, FLEECE WOOL, YORKSHIRE WOOL, SILK, ANGORA. That’s it that’s the answer. I CAN KNIT A NEW MATTRESS. Mmm but what about all my other projects? Maybe I won’t have the time
If any of you lovely ladies and the odd gentleman have any ideas and can steer me in the direction of what ENGINEERING miracle is the perfect mattress for the perfect sleep, PLEASE LET ME KNOW.

Yours Back-Achingly

Celia