DAHLIA GRAVEYARD – RONALD STRIKES AGAIN

My dear ladies and occasional gentleman this is my dahlia graveyard. I have nurtured them along and they were flourishing, I was waiting for the rain to stop so I could plant them. Went out yesterday lovely sunny day to find this.

My dear Ronald had stuck in a pot right next to them a DEAD plant that was in my compost bin and he thought I had thrown out by mistake.
Tucked away in this DEAD plant was a HUGE snail who has devoured the leaves off of everyone of my thriving dahlias overnight.
See said DEAD plant in the pink pot!

This my dear ladies and occasional gentleman is why he is only allowed to mow lawns.

Yours Fumingly

Celia

SEPARATE BEDROOMS SAVES LIVES

SEPARATE BEDROOMS SAVES LIVES my dear ladies and occasional gentleman.

It’s wonderful to see family after so long but Ronald has moved back and invaded my sanctuary.

Believe me it’s the reason Ronald is still ALIVE as we have been shielding since March.

1st night, used to sleeping on the other side of the bed he climbed on top of me trying to get out to go for a wee.

2nd night, coming back from the bathroom he smacked face-first into the closed door of the bedroom he used to be in.

I’m not telling you how many times his snoring has woken me. I’m not sure we’re going to make it till New Year. merry Christmas.

Yours Grumpily

Celia

HUGS AND LAUGHTER IN BOOKS

My dear ladies and occasional gentleman we all need HUGS and we all need LAUGHTER.

Come and visit my village St Urith With Well in my BOOKS.

Heartwarming funny stories, oh and the occasional murder, kidnapping, family secret and love matches.

Amazon ebook 99p, paperback free on KU

Yours Bookishly

Celia

P.s. TAP ON PICTURE

THE UNFURLED MOTH

THE UNFURLED MOTH? I hear you ask my dear ladies and occasional gentleman.

Well it is the latest BOOK about me and Ronald and all my dear friends in our village, not forgetting Hirsute Roley and Polly the rescue.

I don’t know how she does it but my dear friend Glenda has been scribbling away jotting down my adventures and here is the result..

Its so versatile as you can read the PAPERBACK, EBOOK or on KINDLE UNLIMITED.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B084G75HBJ

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B084G75HBJ

Yours Bookily

Celia

p.s. Sneeze into your elbows and wash your hands properly, there are some nasty germs about.

 

HAPPY NEW YEAR

HAPPY NEW YEAR my dear ladies and occasional gentleman.

Some say ‘A New Year, A New You ‘ but I’m quite happy with the old me.

So I won’t be joining a GYM, going on a DIET, or changing my HAIRSTYLE.

Anyway, it’s PANTOMIME time again and that usually BURNS off the XMAS CHOCOLATE FAT.

Yours Verymuchthesamely

Celia

p.s. My heart goes out to the Australian people and the other countries who have experienced natural disasters.

pps Here are a few of my Christmas hand knitted socks

Pppps. Good luck to those who are striving to change

APPARENTLY THIS IS AN…………….

IRON!!! Yes an IRON my dear ladies and occasional gentleman. I know!!! It looks more like …. Well I’m not sure really.

I have a lovely new FRIEND and he was very EXCITED about the purchase of this SPACE-AGE iron.

Speaking as a lady who hasn’t used one of these in over 20 years, I’m CONFUSED.

Yours Flatly

Celia

A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS

My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, there have been a SERIES of UNFORTUNATE EVENTS.

We were looking after our son’s dogs when UNFORTUNATELY the puppy JUMPED Ronald’s BARRIER of ladders on top of the garden wall and LEAPT into the field with the BULLOCKS.

 I slipped on my WELLINGTONS whilst YELLING at Ronald (who was in bed drinking tea) and made my way in my DRESSING GOWN along the road and down the lane. 

I thought RONALD was following me to the FIELD-GATE but I heard a COMMOTION and Roley barking in distress.

Ronald had decided in his WISDOM to follow the dog and JUMP over into the field.

UNFORTUNATELY as he LEAPT he caught his leg on the BARBED WIRE fence, to steady himself he REACHED and GRABBED the LADDER  which then LANDED ON TOP of him.

FORTUNATELY the weight of it disengaged his leg from the BARBED WIRE.

UNFORTUNATELY he fell into a VAST pile of COW SHIT.

FORTUNATELY it was a soft landing.

UNFORTUNATELY he received numerous PUNCTURES, CUTS bruises and a possible BROKEN RIB.

FORTUNATELY the dog came to me and slid under the field-gate.

The MORAL of the story THINK before you LEAP.

Yours Fortunately

Celia

SOCKING & BLOCKING

My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, I finally believe I have the hang of this SOCKING & BLOCKING malarkey.

 

THE FLIP SIDE

THE FLIP SIDE my dear ladies and occasional gentleman is this.

When your DELIGHTFUL granddaughter smooths your hair away keeping her little hands holding your face and says,

“YOU LOOK REALLY PRETTY WITH YOUR HAIR LIKE THAT GRANNY.”

The FLIP SIDE – ten minutes later,

“GRANNY WHY HAVE YOU GOT TWO CHINS?”

Here she is COMMUNING with the COWS, temporary ladder in place to prevent her JOINING them.

WHY? WHY? WHY?

WHY? WHY? WHY my dear ladies and occasional gentleman, when you try and PULL on your skinny JEGGINGS your foot ALWAYS I repeat ALWAYS gets WEDGED crossways?

Yours Stuckily

Celia